Do you have fear of what others will think regarding your writing? Are you afraid of criticism and being judged?
In this episode of our Breakthrough series, CJ and I are going to help you as Kingdom Writers overcome this obstacle of people-pleasing. What makes this series different than most training for writers is that we integrate the powerful combination of Scripture and prayer to help you breakthrough the obstacles holding you back.
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Notes from this episode:
- Paul confronted Peter (Galatians 2:11-16)
- “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” -Aristotle
- Before we write the first words of a book, blog post, or social media post, what are the questions we ask ourselves? “What will others think?” “What will God think?” If we care more about what others think, we risk crossing into idolatry. Idolatry is simply putting something before God or worshiping something other than God. I think some of us have worshipped our reputations and standing among men & women.
- “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men.” – Philippians
- Afraid of being judged as prideful or greedy from others. What they think of you is their responsibility. That’s between them and God. Your responsibility is to simply do what God has called you to do. Parable of the talents (Matthew 25). I was afraid and so I hid.
- What other people think of you is none of your business.
- Example of my book on pornography (why I wrote it but how it was hard as well wondering what others would think)
- The root of people-pleasing is a desire for acceptance. Longing for acceptance and approval. For people to like us. We want to fit in.
- People accept what is the same but eventually respect what is different.
- Social media fuels it. Trying to post only what you think people will like and not sharing anything that might be controversial or exposing.
- The pressure to fit in. Don’t be too weird. Go with the flow. Popularity contest like junior high & high school.
- Emotions rise and fall with whether we are the “flavor of the month”
- Reviews: we all get bad reviews. I’ve taken a break from reading my reviews
- Jeremiah, Isaiah, Ezekiel – weren’t people pleasers but God pleasers. They knew their role was telling the Truth which sometimes hurts.
- Jesus was the same way, he offended the religious leaders
- If God has put a message on your heart to write, speak the truth. The gospel message is offensive to those who are perishing.
- 1 Samuel 17:38-40 – David wasn’t comfortable in Saul’s armor. Had to be himself. Shedding expectations of others
- Sometimes we are trying to avoid conflict at all costs
- People are not thinking of us as much as we think they are.
- Finding our complete identity in Christ instead of in others.
- The root of rejection. Is there deeper healing that needs to happen from our past (ie my story of forgiving Sarah Miller don’t share her name)
Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. (John 8:32)
Galatians 1:10, “Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.”
One reason Christian authors resist marketing http://www.trainingauthors.com/christian-authors-resist-marketing/
Prayer for Freedom from People-Pleasing
Transcript of the prayer:
The fourth area that we’re looking at is this whole area of people-pleasing.
Has this area ever been a struggle for you?
It’s a big one for me.
Specifically, what we mean by this is the fear of what others will think. We’re afraid of criticism and of being judged. We sort of, keep it on the low. Don’t ruffle too many feathers and try to stand out in any way. Even if the truth is at stake, we just want to please everyone.
I’m going to pray along the lines of Galatians 1:10. Paul says, “Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.”
“Lord, right now we come against this whole spirit of people-pleasing. Which if we admit, is absolutely impossible. We cannot please everyone. We’re always going to fall short. If the son of God could not please everyone, then who are we to think we can. So, we come against that.”
I picture people being enslaved. It’s like a noose around our necks and we’re being dragged around by this enemy of people-pleasing. It’s just jerking us left and right.
We even have neck problems because we’re constantly jerked based on pleasing others. We come against that as Paul did, as he said, ‘obviously I am not trying to win the approval people but of God.
Lord, we ask that we would go after your approval alone and we do thank you that in Christ we are approved of.
Yes, we thank you for that promise. We desire to be your children who want to please daddy, to hop up on your lap and to do cartwheels for you. To run around the playground and say, “Look at me, Daddy! Look at what I just did.”
And Lord, I just ask that we would find our approval alone in you and know that our Father God is looking at us. And He’s pleased and loves our creativity. He has birthed something new in each and every one of us to share.
I pray that each and every one of us would have God as our only audience. Even though our books are going to go out to perhaps masses.
For some of those that are on this prayer meeting, some of your books will go all the way around the world and they will bless so many people groups. Your books would be translated into multiple languages. They’re going to have large audiences.
But Lord, may you be the only audience that we truly write for. Then we watch you encourage others through our work. Thank you in Jesus’ name.
Lord, I just sense that today is a turning point for some of these writers listening right now, either live or the replay.
I have a sense that today is going to be a stake in the ground type of day. Like something changed in some today. ‘Something’ is your Spirit working through them in prayer. We just declare breakthrough right now in Jesus’ name for writers and for each person listening.
The picture I got of people-pleasing is like being in a classroom and being graded on your work. Whether it’s a test or an assignment. And the only person’s opinion that counts is the teacher’s.
No other students can give you a grade. They can criticize you; make fun of you; even say things. But the only thing that matters, in the end, is what the teacher puts on that grade card at the end.
And, that’s in a way, the same way it is with us. The only person that matters right now is the approval of God and pleasing Him. He’s the one that matters.
It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. We are only responsible for what God is calling us to do. And we’re not responsible for how other people think about us, how they judge us, what they say about us or the reviews they give us.
Our responsibility Lord is doing what you’ve called us to do. I pray that there would be a joy welling up now knowing that you are pleased with us, Lord. I feel like you want each person listening right now to know that you are pleased with them.
They are your son; they are your daughter and you are pleased with them. And they are accepted. 100% accepted, 100% approved, 100% loved, 100% validated by you, their Father. We thank you, God, for that love, approval, validation, and acceptance. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
I even thought of a Colossians 3:23 which many of you are familiar with and it says, “in everything you do, work at it with all your heart as if you’re working for God and not man.” So, ultimately, that’s all it matters. God is our employer and we’re working for Him, we’re pleasing Him. We’re doing everything to lift his name up on high. And after that, it’ll all take care of itself as we do that for the Lord.
Free Download: 15 Prayers for Christian Writers
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